i feel so stupid

so there's this guy (i know what your thinking, 'theres always a guy when it comes to teenage girls') i wont say this is different from any other crush but what ever. i like him and he probably doesnt know i exist or that i'm in 2 of his classes, not to mention i'm usually loud, so thats saying something (exaggerated i know) he might know i'm there but apparently he must think life is so much better without knowing i exist. even my friends say that its better not to know me, but love me anyway. so next time he's on face book i am going to say 'hi' or not cause he scares me.(shocker, right?) i am slightly afraid of boys, but once they become my friends they are no longer boys but man-like versions of really ugly girls, (or pretty girls who have a cross dressing issues). it wasnt always like this, i use to talk to the guys i liked ,but boys suck (and they are really really , and i mean supper dense or are jerks who ignore the obvious). so now i am shy-ish but will go up to any guy on a dare (thats different). so as i said before he doesnt really know i'm there. we were in bio and i was in his group, it was dissection time, and i couldnt wait to cut open the pig (gross i know , whats wrong with me) but i got so flustered that i couldnt do it. he laughed at me a little and joked about how i looked like i was ganna faint. but after i left his group i was perfectly fine. so when i could open up a pig head, i got a little carried away and cut the eye which was juicy(it squirted on some poor girl). and now i dont know what to do. i even gave him a quarter, which i regretted because that day i needed the quarter, and we talked very little but now i'm scared to look at him. whats worst is that my ex-friend who is an ugly wanna be, drugy (long story, that is coming up later) and she talks to him. so know you see my dilemma, my sad , sad little story.